ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴀᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴄʜᴇᴍɪsᴛ. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
insubordination) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
acatamemes2018-09-25 09:55 pm
insubordination) wrote in acatamemes2018-09-25 09:55 pm
1: i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
2: If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
3: I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
4: Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
5: Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
2: If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
3: I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
4: Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
5: Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
1: Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close the door, and resume driving.
2: What happened last night?? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor?
3: I don't know if I'm dying or if this is just a mild inconvenience.
4: why is there a bottle of tequila taped to the fan
5: how drunk is too drunk to be on a plane?
2: What happened last night?? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor?
3: I don't know if I'm dying or if this is just a mild inconvenience.
4: why is there a bottle of tequila taped to the fan
5: how drunk is too drunk to be on a plane?
1. my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
2. i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees around the temple.
3. When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
4. It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
5. Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
2. i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees around the temple.
3. When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
4. It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
5. Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
1: I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
2: Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
3: please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
4: i got in a fight with my imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch me after a surprise trust fall
5: text him!
2: Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
3: please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
4: i got in a fight with my imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch me after a surprise trust fall
5: text him!
1. seriously this shitty bracelet. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
2. He told me he had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits and the plague.
3. What happened lastnight I smell like I had sex with one of those fish bitches....god i reek
2. He told me he had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits and the plague.
3. What happened lastnight I smell like I had sex with one of those fish bitches....god i reek
I thought you were just enjoying some fresh air...I was wondering what you were doing.
Oh uh...
I don't think you're dying.
And why do you need a bucket?
I don't think you're dying.
And why do you need a bucket?
1. I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion.
2. My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
3. Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in the temple.
4. The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
5. he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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